I put a $60 deposit in the bank yesterday, thinking that would clear me up for awhile.

I just found out those rat bastards at the payday loan had tried to take out money out of my account in three increments: $700, $400 and $125. Only the $125 managed to clear, so I'm out the overdraft charges for the other two at $27 EACH. That leaves me with $2.16 in my account right now. I spent $10 on lunch today, so that will probably fucking bounce as well.

Someone save me from myself.

One online order for supplements hit last night and that threw me $3.00 overdrawn. I have more money coming in the bank, but this will cost me $27 of course.

I'm really angry that I keep doing this to myself.

If you've read any of Loral Langemeier's work, you'd know that she strongly advocates that people make a "cash machine," or in other words, create their own business. This is for tax reasons, along with giving you the ability to raise funds to invest more money.

According to her, the worst thing you can do is nothing. But that's where I'm sitting right now.

I am stuck between wanting to create a marketing side business, but that's tough because it involves a lot of time (which I don't have this time of year) and big potential conflict of interest issues. I thought I'd found my next solution with SMC (you've seen the dorky television commercials), a company where you're the middle person between their products and the public - you can either do swap meets, open a store, do in-home parties or do internet marketing.

I had planned on the possibility of internet marketing, since that's part of what I do all day, except I market travel, not specific products.

I got my kit last week (I paid $114, which is 100% refundable), and I'm very disappointed. I asked the guy over the phone about the products, and of course, everyone says their "top quality." They're not. It's cheap crap from China and there's not one product in the entire catalogue I'd want to buy. Not only that, I ask specifically about their SEO (search engine optimization), an absolute MUST in e-commerce and he claimed they had a program. They don't - they just tell you to "register" with search engines. If you know anything about SEO, you know that stuff changes every day and registering once is almost wasted energy.

Now, I could pay for SEO and I could pay for web design, but in the end, I hate the products. So I'm back where I started.

So I'm going to ask for my money back; I can certainly use it. But now I don't know what to do. Loral encourages you to do any kind of business that you KNOW, not necessarily the dream job. For instance, if you're a teacher, then have a tutoring business. If you're an administrative assistant, get a job organizing offices. You get the point.

I really don't know what to do next. Dammitall.

OK, so I took back the shoes - they gave me cash as my debit card wouldn't work. I deposited that at the bank, so it will hit tomorrow first thing. I also took back the clothes, which is crediting me $126 and some change.

I did have to spend more at the store, though. My colleague handled a trip out of town last week for me as I was too sick. I bought her a bottle of white zin (blech - but she loves it) and I already had another bottle of good stuff that she likes. I also got her a t/y card. That stuff means a lot to her and she deserves it. I also had to get a few things I missed last week - they were high ticket items, so it came to $69.

I also had to go to Whole Foods to get a few GF (gluten-free) products. Since I was diagnosed with celiac disease, I've been slow to commit to the whole GF process, because it's a tough process. No wheat, no gluten - did you know there was gluten in soy sauce? Sheesh. One more time I have to clean out my pantry and my refrigerator of anything that doesn't comply with this diet. Even though it's hard to live with though, I'll do it happily if that will once and for all fix my health issues. I spent $21 there.

I also spent $5 at Burger King for one last Whopper to go.

That leaves me $89 short, but if everything hits the bank just right, I'm covered for a little while anyway. Some of those short charges include stuff like a check I gave to my mother weeks ago that she's never cashed for $43. There's a $30 charge in there that might be a repeat. So I might skate by, although not much moolah for ME now.

I will get some extra from co-workers who want to contribute to my assistant's going away present. That would be nice.

At least I feel like I'm "in order" for starting a new work week, even if it's a short one.

I have errand to do today, most notably take back the clothes and shoes that I bought in a 2 year old tantrum. I'm going to need the money.

Also, I'm very annoyed that XM charged me more than they said they would. The difference is $18.37 more, and not fatal, except I'm pretty close to the bone and it pisses me off.

It also means that I probably won't be able to do some of the other errands like take my mother to dinner for her birthday or get the stuff at the store that I forgot.

Hrrmph.