I spent $10.86 on lunch yesterday. Brought my lunch to work, but had a craving for Indian food.

That I did NOT spend any money during the weekend after the drinks episode and buying the cat water dish. I also did not get a chance to earn more money. Since I spent so much time procrastinating, I only had time to do one or the other (making money or spending time on finances). Since I was resisting the finances so much and so thoroughly, I thought that was the better choice.

This is where I need to learn the art of "allowing" as one Law of Attraction book put it.

It simply wasn't enough money to be worth driving over to my mother's for, so my time was better spent at home. I did fix a week's worth of lunches and ironed clothes (2 hours worth) so it wasn't like I was twiddling my thumbs all afternoon, but that was not what I was resisting.

SO I'll have to continue attracting 4083 into my life.

One step forward, one back.

I finally got some work done in the financial area. I was so absolutely sure that I needed Quicken, so I bought it even though I was short on funds.

So today I thought I'd make it worth my while and use it. Turns out, I could've lived without it. Their debt calculator has changed since I've had it last and it's only useful for specific things like mortgage, car and credit card. Most of my debts are simply dead beat ones, so I used Excel and just expanded on a spreadsheet I created years ago. At least I now have all my debts in one place - and by debts, many of these have been written off by the company and no one would know it anymore. But I do and it bothers me. So some are bigger priorities than others.

I did enter my checking account information there.

I think once I get my business rolling, it will be crucial to have the Quicken in place so my business finances aren't the mess they were the last time.

I saw how much that I purchase financial organizational stuff in much the same way as I read...at work, I use the term "digging worms instead of fishing." It when you spend tons of time on analysis to the point of not actually accomplishing anything. At work, this drives me nuts - and here I'm doing it at home.

I bought a huge Suze Orman kit on the last pledge drive. I still think it's useful and a good product, but I had to have it, then it sat there for a long time. I did start using it last night, even though I didn't get far. Tried to check my FICO score online, but was locked out - I had identity theft issues about 9 months ago and I can't do it online as easily as I could once upon a time. Last time I checked, I was above 600 but not by much. Since I've been paying off an unsecured loan at my bank for this very reason, I think it might be creeping up a little. Probably not much.

I also downloaded the programs for the living revocable trust, which I do think I need - if for no other reason that my family wouldn't have to go through probate if I pass away suddenly. You might think that's being unprepared, but my best friend's sister just died about 4 years ago. She was the age I am now, single and had no will or trust or any "end of life" instruments. Of course the family was distraught because it was sudden, unexpected and tragic (she didn't have a heart attack, her heart just stopped - the ME says he sees about 3 of these a year - sort of like someone pulled the electrical pllug).

I saw how much hassle her family had to go through with selling her house, emptying it of her stuff, no will, probate, her deadbeat dad trying to get his paws into it at the last minute even though the two of them hadn't spoken in 25 years. I don't want my family to go through that nonsense. My mother simply couldn't do it now that my father has passed. So I think it's very grown-up of me to do it....but I buy it, and there it sits.

I didn't finish or really even start the will, trust, living will, etc. last night...but downloading was a step in the right direction.

I did more work on the business. Read more of the Cash Machine book and am now about to work on the actual plan. I'm getting more of it in my head.

So now I invite in peace, productivity and balance into my life.

Have a good day.

I'm still struggling with the issue of "change." It's weird how I've received various "messages" from God/universe over the last 14 hours or so that seems to be describing what I'm going through.

I'm very aware that I'm changing my very being, and that's hard to do.

Yesterday, I was planning to get a lot of finances done (again). I came home from the movie and was first engrossed in really silly television. Totally useless. I could've been ironing or doing money tasks, but no, I watch dumb true-crime stories. Then I fell asleep on the couch. Then I had a headache that got worse...no medicine helped, water didn't help, gatorade didn't help (it helps if the headache is related to being dehydrated). At first I thought it was a touch of a hangover from the night before, but I only had two glasses of wine and that didn't make sense.

Then I sat there and watched even stupider television until 1am. I wasn't doing anything useful. Now, there are times in which this is normal, but I didn't need the rest that bad. I was clearly struggling with moving forward, moving backward and that was resulting in staying still.

I played with my tarot cards and medicine cards and they were all spot-on with describing where I am. All about new energy for a new project, ambivalence with moving forward, spending time in the unconscious and losing divine connection.

OK, get THAT message.

Then I woke up with a terrible headache this morning (proving it's not a hangover) so I'm moving slowly. I took more advil, woke up a little, then struggled some more over getting up and starting my projects. At 10am on Sundays, I listen to a fantastic Catholic priest on the radio who I think is an amazingly evolved man. I've heard him in person before and he's brilliant. This has become my church for the last couple of years because my church was also struggling with big issues of accepting life or staying the same and sadly, they stayed the same. My beloved rector retired and gave up trying to change the fundamentalist ideas of this church (I am Episcopalian). I moved pretty far away from it and haven't found another.

Right before it was time to listen to the priest, I flipped the TV on PBS where I saw part of a Joseph Campbell special and the same thing is being discussed here - going over the bridge, going through the fire, rebirth, etc. All the same thing.

And then, you guessed it, the priest is talking the same thing.

Aychewawa.

OK, time to quit posting and do something.

I know Richmond well. I used to stay in the area with my grandparents when I was growing up.

I live in a large metro area and believe me, if I could get a decent cut for $18, I certainly would. But I have not found anyone who consistently will do my hair for any less. Now that it's shorter, I will probably have to have it trimmed more often, which is a bit of a drag.

Anyway, thanks for the info; it helps. Believe me, if I wanted to visit Jose Eber and spent $200 a cut, I could. I just wouldn't - even if I had that kind of money.