I've been learning so much about gratitude and the law of attraction.

While I'm about 250 in the hole in my account - finally had to break down and do the grocery store thing, although if I'm honest with myself I didn't have to buy all 250 of it at once - and since I registered several domain names for a new business I'm creating, I certainly keep putting myself in the position of NEEDING miracles.

However, I keep receiving them!

Going to the spa tomorrow and all I have to pay is gratuity for lunch, massage and pedicure.

I just discovered two medical bills that I will be reimbursed on by tomorrow which will increase my account by 68.

Helped my mother with some stuff which gave me 20.

Took back a couple of things from the grocery store that gave me back 25.

Must take back one pair of shoes tonight - darn - but I haven't worn them and they're not all that comfortable. That will give me back another 40.

I'm at work and need to get back to it, so I'll write mroe later.

I felt like all hell was breaking out in my stomach yesterday. Not metaphorically, but literally. Who knows.

The other thing that has kept me busy is that following Loral Langemeier's advice on becoming a millionaire, I need to start what she calls a Cash Machine, which is basically my own business.

I have taken my time about that, being a little confused about what I should do. I owned my own business for 7 years and it ended in a spectacular way with my breaking both my legs and being unable to keep up with it. It failed in a monetary way as well. So while she suggests that you start a business with something you know well and can do immediately, I've been ambivalent about that, too.

But I decided over the weekend that I'm in a perfect place to start my own marketing and branding coaching business. I'm working on all the particulars, but will have something in place by the end of the week. I had enough dreams over the weekend that confirmed this is a good place to begin, if not stay in forever.

Of course, work is terribly, terriby busy, so I'm working as much/fast as I can!

You can see why I've been a little bit ambivalent about things because the message below shows how quickly it went out the door - and here is a message to say why things are going relatively well, despite the other.

The two books I wanted to read were Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Apparently they were both featured in the original The Secret movie, but were edited out due to some contractual arrangements. Anyway, I heard Esther, who channels a character called "Abraham" who explains the Law of Attraction MUCH better than The Secret. The other books is Ask and It Is Given.

Now, I know this is all a little bit woo-woo for some people, but I've never doubted the Law, I just forgot it for awhile.

I quickly read The Law of Attraction at Border's last week, but returned to buy it and take it with me because I thought it had value. It starts where The Secret leaves off. The Secret is elementary school, The Law of Attraction is junior high. Ask and It Is Given is more like high school. It has all kinds of exercises and activities to help in attracting more good (not necessarily more money) into your life.

What I found so intriguing was that I was practicing some of the techniques. It's no secret that I want a computer for my home so I can do more stuff there, when yesterday at lunch, my mother just said out of the blue, "After I get this house sold, I'm going to buy you a computer."

Wow. I had only mentioned to her once in passing that I needed and wanted one, I hadn't asked her to buy it for me at ALL. Perhaps it will get to me before she has a chance, but that was cool.

So I spent some of that money on books, thinking it was a wise use of funds.

I haven't written in a few days because 1) I've been SO busy at work AND 2) I was processing a lot of stuff in my mind.

Emotionally, I've been ALL over the board, but here are a few notes:

I got paid last Thursday, which is a little early due to a weekend ate, but I was happy to see it.

Here's how I spent my money:

68.15 past due amount on my mail order drugs
75.00 phone bill (not the entire amount, but what I needed to keep from being cut off)
68.15 amount of the next round of drugs that I need
89.00 loan amount from my credit union - I should have used THIS for a computer last November, but I used it to catch up on some bills, pay for $200 in clothing alterations (I had lost enough weight that my clothes were too bit and I figured it was more cost effective than buying all new ones) and for some shoes (my shoes were in the pathetic stage). I don't feel too badly about this loan as it's helping me build back my credit.
368.05 car payment - it's a high-interest loan b/c of my credit, but I'm hoping to refinance after a year.
159.59 car insurance
6.03 Jack in the Box as I was in a hurry
34.55 two dresses; but I ended up returning them
101.59 Shoes - let me say that it appears that I'm a shoe-horse, but I'm really not. I just let the whole shoe wardrobe get to nothing, then I have to buy a few more. I have to say that I got great deals and only averaged $20 a pair.
$218 high-interest loan - can't seem to get the balance paid
$100 loan from my mother
$40 past due water bills from my apartment
$154 electric bill
$35 Stuff from the drug store
$34.12 gas
$41.41 dry cleaning from the whole last 6 weeks
$88.34 Whole Foods ($36 of this will be refunded by my cafeteria plan)
$35.53 Two books from Barnes & Noble, one of which I took back
$27.99 Kroger - only partial grocery list
$63.50 Barnes & Noble again - had to get a bday gift AND I got 2 more books that I pondered carefully and then decided I needed.

This leaves me $74.30 in the hole and I hadn't really bought groceries yet.

I was pretty annoyed by all that, but will speak of more later.